Just Say No To Melodrama
If all emotions were of average intensity, they’d be easier to describe. But emotions vary in strength. Take fear, for instance. Depending upon the severity of the situation, a person might feel anything from unease to anxiety to paranoia or terror. Extreme emotions will require extreme descriptors, while others are relatively subtle and must be described as such. Unfortunately, many writers make the mistake of assuming that to be gripping, emotion must be dramatic. Sad people should burst into tears. Joyful characters must express their glee by jumping up and down. This kind of writing results in melodrama, which leads to a sense of disbelief in the reader because, in real life, emotion isn’t always so demonstrative.
To avoid melodrama, recognize that emotions run along a continuum, from mild to extreme. For each situation, know where your character is along that continuum and choose appropriate descriptors. Just as extreme emotions call for extreme indicators, temperate emotions should be expressed subtly. The indicators for intermediate emotions will lie somewhere in the middle.
Mack tapped his thumb against the steering wheel, one
arm dangling out the window. He smiled at Dana but she just sat there, twisting
that one loop of hair around her finger.
“Worried about your interview tomorrow?” he asked.
“A little. It’s a great opportunity but the timing’s
awful. There’s too much going on.” She sighed. “I’ve been thinking about
cutting back. Simplifying.”
“Good idea.” He nodded along with the radio and waved
at the biker who thundered past on his Harley.
“I’m glad you agree.” She faced him. “I think we
should break up.”
His foot slipped off the gas pedal. The air grew
heavy, making it hard to breathe. The car veered toward the middle line and he
let it drift, not caring whether he lived or died.
“I’m glad you agree.” She faced him. “I think we
should break up.”
His foot slipped off the gas pedal. “Break up? What
are you talking about?”
“Mack. We’ve been headed this way for awhile, you
know that.”
He gripped the steering wheel and took deep breaths.
Sure, things had been rough lately, and she kept talking about taking some
time, but she always came around. And she’d definitely never uttered the words
“break up.”
“Look, Dana—”
“Please, don’t. You can’t talk me out of it this
time.” She stared at the dashboard. “I’m sorry.”
His insides twisted. He darted a look at Dana, but
she was curled against the window now, both hands resting easy in her lap.
He gaped at her. They were totally breaking up.
All of this is not to say that real life doesn’t produce extreme emotion. Birth, death, loss, change—some situations call for intense responses that may go on for awhile. Many writers, in an admirable attempt to maintain believability, try to recreate these events in real time. This results in long paragraphs or even pages of high emotion and, inevitably, melodrama. Though real life can sustain this kind of intensity for long periods of time, it’s nearly impossible for the written word to do so in a way that readers will accept.
In these situations, avoid melodrama by abbreviating. This method is often used for other real-life scenarios—conversations, for instance. Small talk is left out to keep the pace moving forward. Mundane tasks are also cut short, because the reader doesn’t need (or want) to see the entire car washed, a piece at a time, while Bob ponders a problem at work. In the same way, extensive emotional scenes should be long enough to convey the appropriate information, but not so long that you lose the audience. Write the emotion well, develop empathy in your reader, maximize the words that you do use, but don’t overstay your welcome.
Becca Puglisi is one half of The Bookshelf Muse blogging duo, and co-author of The Emotion Thesaurus: A Writer's Guide to Character Expression. Listing the body language, visceral reactions and thoughts associated with 75 different emotions, this brainstorming guide is a valuable tool for showing, not telling, emotion. The Emotion Thesaurus is available for purchase through Amazon, Barnes & Noble, iTunes, and Smashwords, and the PDF can be purchased directly from her blog.
